Me Organised? Yes Indeed!

Well, two weeks down on my teaching prac 4 and I feel fantastic! During the weeks approaching my prac and internship I became quite stressed just thinking about the HUGE task that lay ahead of me…10 weeks in the classroom being judged and reported on by another person!!! How was I ever going to survive or cope? I new that this was going to have to be a task for my Heavenly Father, because I certainly lacked the strength or courage to do it. And, sure enough…He has prevailed!

My teacher has been absolutely wonderful and understands the fact that I am only learning, which is such a blessing. After each lesson we discuss how it went and she gives me verbal feedback. I was honestly not expecting the feedback to be as encouraging and supportive as it has been. Each and everyday I have been gaining confidence and I absolutely cannot wait to teach in my own classroom. Often by the end of the day my head is brewing with different things that I would like to do when I have my own classroom. I never anticipated having so much enthusiastic energy for teaching. When I first started my uni course, I only did it as a step of obedience. But now I am grateful for having been so obedient towards my Father in Heaven. I could never have anticipated enjoying it as I am right now.

But, not only am I enjoying this experience and desperately holding on until I get my own classroom to teach in, but I am learning so much and being stretched in every which direction! I have always desired to be organised and a forward planner, but never been very successful at it. No matter how much tried in the past, I have always been a last minute girl - and a very stressed one at that! No matter how hard I tried to get my uni assignments organised and in on time, they were always left until the last minute, no matter how hard I tried to plan Sunday school lessons before Sunday - they were always a Sunday morning thing. However, God knew what He was doing when He placed me with my mentor teacher. She honestly is the most organised person and teacher the world has ever seen! Each and every day I am amazed at how she operates - and how she has been able to maintain it for so long.

This has been wonderful for me, as it has caused me to pick up my act and work really hard to get myself one week ahead - AT LEAST! We have pretty much got the term organised already, we only have a few minor details still to go. And, even though I am absolutely exhausted from being up late (or should I say early) every night of the week - at least I am organised and not stressed to the max, trying to get things done at the last minute. My personal life is even becoming more organised - which I thank God for VERY much (and am sure that my friends do as well!!!). I am learning how to prioritise my tasks and to be self disciplined with my time. Each afternoon I right myself a task list, and then prioritise my tasks. The tasks that need to heaviest thinking (e.g lesson plans for tomorrow or creating task sheets) are on the top of the list and are preceded by tasks such as reflections, organising my uni folder or responding to personal mail. At least by the end of the night I know that I have the main things complete and then can go to bed and possibly get up early enough to get the other things completed. It has also meant that I have left recreational activities, such as blogging, to the weekends and AFTER I have completed everything else that I need to. Man, it feels so good!!

Well, on that note. I best be getting off here and on with those other small things need doing before the Monday Madness!

The Power of Worship

Last week I returned from the Hillsong Conference in Sydney. And, just as I was expecting, it was absolutely fantastic. I have come back from the conference feeling re-fueled, re-fired and reinvigorated.

To put it in picture format, I feel like I have had a steam bath in the spirit! If anyone has ever had a cold with a stuffy nose and then experienced a steam bath (where you put boiling water in a tub and place a tea towel over your head) then you will know what I mean. My head feels completely cleared and fresh -ready for what lies ahead of me.

Before heading out the door to Hillsong I silently wondered if I was doing the right thing. I knew within my spirit that God had provided the way for me to go and that he wanted me to be there - but, like most of us, I actually wondered if God knew what He was doing. Didn't He know that I had my internship beginning straight after I returned? Didn't He know that I was struggling to get everything done that I needed to? Well it appears as if he does, because I don’t know if I would have been able to cope with the pressure of everything on my shoulders if it had not have been for that week away. Obviously it was only God that knew I needed that break. Before heading down to the Hillsong conference I was crumbling under the pressure of the work load and trying to carry the burden of too many other things. But now, I can hardly put to words how good I feel. And now, I am determined to keep the fire burning.

While I was at the conference, a well known preacher by the name of Joseph Prince said that "Preaching deals with Concepts, while praise and worship deals with the power of God". In essence, it means that without the presence of God in our lives, all we have is our own strength. We need to spend time in God's presence - praising God's name, worshiping Him, getting down on our knees and fully surrendering our lives to Him - in order to receive His strength. We can listen to all the preaching we want to, but it's not until we actually spend time in His presence that we are going to receive the strength to be able to accomplish the tasks God has for us. I used to get so downcast when I failed to meet the standards preachers often used to talk about. I so much wanted to be "ALL that God called me to be", but each and every day I would find myself falling short of the glory of God. I would disrespect my parents, take offense toward someone, over indulge in food, say the wrong things - and the list goes on. But now I know the secret to developing a heart devoted to God - spending time in His presence. I have found that listening to pure praise and worship music draws me into His presence quicker - however, there are times when silence is necessary. It's really about finding what works best for you. It has taken me so long to work this out, so don’t get discouraged if the presence of God doesn’t come right away. Keep pressing in, praise His name, declaring His word - and He WILL turn up! Do you know how I know this? Because His word says "But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them sing joyful praises forever. Protect them, so all who love your name may be filled with joy" Psalm 5:11

The lyrics to the following song really helped to inspire this writing. As I read the words to the song, it takes me back to some of the moments at the conference where God really moved upon my life. As I have talked about in previous blogs, song lyrics really speak to me. I often get revelation after revelations just listening tot the words of songs.

Desert Song: From "This Is Our God" by Hillsong

This is my prayer in the desert
when all that's within me feels dry
this is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flame

I will bring praise, I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice, I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on it's way
I am a conquerer and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

I will bring praise I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice i will declare
God is my victory and He is here

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

Be the Person you Want To Become

For so long I have battled with self condemnation and negative thoughts. They have been so great that they have completely plagued my mind and almost taken over my life. I would continuously set myself little goals “Ok, over the next three weeks I am only going to think positive thoughts, I’m only going to eat healthy foods and exercise at least 3-4 times a week”. But, sure enough, like many people I would fall short of this goal within the first few hours. However, I finally feel like I have broken free from this painstaking bondage that had captured my life and stolen my youth. And now, I look back on each time that I failed, not as a failure or complete waste of time, but as an opportunity to find out what not to do!
Paul writes in Philippians 1:20 -

“I live in eager expectation and hope that I will never do anything that causes
me shame, but that I will always be bold for Christ, as I have been in the past, and that my life will always honour Christ”

In this passage, Paul discusses the type of person that he wants to be or sees himself as. I have a certain feeling that when Paul wrote this, he would still have had in mind many times when he wasn’t all of this. And that is why he also writes “I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” (NAS) because he wasn’t all there yet. However, I learned something from this. Paul was declaring positive things over his life. He wasn’t focusing on the past failures, but on the person that he wanted to become. Change has occurred in my life since I have begun focusing on the type of person that I want to be – instead of thinking about the person I wasn’t! My Aunty actually coined a particular phrase which has helped me through this bondage it is:

“Be the person your want to Become”.

I want to become a person who is constantly moving forward, motivated, passionate and VERY fruitful. I want to see the success of my efforts, I want to be a humble and forgiving person, who is not easily angered. I want to achieve the goals that I have set out for my life.
So, if you happen to be struggling with self condemnation or comparing yourself with other people, I urge you, keep pressing on in this battle. You WILL get there, there is hope. His name is Jesus Christ. And even though your answer isn’t instant, the end result is worth it! Believe it from someone who has come through to the end!